Lost.

I am lost.

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I don’t know where to go or what to do next. It looks like I’m staying put in the alps until the end of February but what next??? I have my New Zealand visa patiently waiting to be used… I have been offered 4 jobs but haven’t committed to any & have no idea which direction to proceed with.

Normally a job comes up & take it because either it’s better than what I’m currently doing or at an opportune time in my life. Funny how I can’t decide on which one of these. I’m struggling to see a path for myself. I see a busy intersection with heavy traffic in all directions. No road signs of where they are headed to.

Do I stay year round working in Switzerland? Will I get lonely? I know I want the luxury accommodation, pool & gym access that comes with the job. It will be challenging, but I know I can do it & it will be a great experience.
Do I nanny full time in Ireland for a family I love, where I can be close to my friends & family? But leave my thrill seeking sense of adventure behind?
Do I nanny in England for the summer & travel with a great family? Making money & building a strong friendship? Still having the freedom to make travel plans outside of the summer.
Do I nanny in england with more travel for another lovely family? Sure, I get to travel & experience a new life but not on my terms.

I am not financially motivated. I work for money however my quality of life & potential intrinsic rewards I value much greater.

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I want something new. I want more. I want some security & I want the opportunity to grow. I want to make new friends. I want to have some normalcy. I want something completely different to sink my teeth in. I want it all. I may end up with nothing. Missed opportunities & day dreams.

Today will be a serious making plans day. Oh, to have the 9-5 life where I don’t have to make big life changing decisions quarterly.

Who am I kidding. I’m not ready to go back to that just yet….. But secretly, occasionally I look forward to settling down & living with a peaceful security.

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