Learning French

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With less than 5 weeks to go in Switzerland I thought: ‘Hey, you should learn to speak French!’

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I’m kidding, I hoped to sooner but with inconsistent work hours & trips away it was difficult to organise. Finally I seized my opportunity & booked a trial class for a level A1 course. I got the little one to nursery by 8am & at 8.30am I was sitting in a classroom with new french books ready for the learning to commence!

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The teacher introduced herself & asked me some questions. She was particularly interested that I am currently single. She’s single, she told the class, in french. She said it so many times she wrote it on the fecking bored “Je suis célibataire”. She made me repeat it after her. She encourage me to write it in my notepad.

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8.34am on a Monday morning in a neglected building in a run down part of town, I am staring at a faded blackboard with the white scrawlings ‘Je suis célibataire’, contemplating my life.

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After moment of quiet consideration I look up & she’s asking me my age. I lie. She writes it on the board too. I think how my friends will laugh at this story. I don’t go back to the class – for other reasons. I wonder why the world is so cruel. I go on Tinder & arrange a date.200-3


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