Every so often I get an overwhelming all consuming sense of dissatisfaction at what I am doing with my life. I feel like I am in the wrong place, that these decisions were not my own & the outcome I am living is alien to me.
I feel like I’ve committed too much to this lifestyle & I need to salvage what little I can to transform it into a content life for myself. I didn’t seriously consider my options or the consequences of my choices. I looked for short term glory & blocked out the long term values.
I feel lost at what I can do to improve it. I’m lost at what I actually need to do to attain my goals. I’m lost at deciding what my goals are.
I am disconnected from the person who set out on these adventures. I do not have her open heart or curious nature. I am living a life of insecurity & worry. I feel like I am sinking when the world is floating carefree above me. I want to swim but I don’t know where to swim to. I kick my legs to see if they work.